Depression

Deep depths falling from on high
how low can I fall
is no-one going to catch me
lost and wandering
out of reach no links
to anywhere

Just endless days of wandering
trying to find you in my heart
I know you're there
just can't seem to find you at the moment
lost moments fly by
and rob me of my time

reaching towards something
that seems so far out of reach
remnants of another time
cut chords and lost
blinking doesn't make the pain go
it presses in
compressing this heart

I want to find somewhere to hide
just curl up and fade away
would that I could hear your voice
just once no matter what you said
it would be a boon
to lift me from this darkness

No longer sure of many things
hold fast I hear you say
remember what I said
I do remember but in remembering
I feel such pain it hurts
I need your voice to soothe
my troubled mind

Just a word to let me know you're there
doesn't matter what you say
just need that link right now
darkness approaches fast
and I wish I knew how to avoid it
lost lives and lingering doubts

I hate this time
with passion unbounded
better would it be that I could
give this passion to you
show you the way that I truly feel
locked up in a prison of my own making

clawing at walls made solid by my mind
trapped within an echo from my past
and wondering is this it all over again
will it just repeat until I no longer care
I always thought in circles
seems this is one that swallows
the past is present the present is past

Trapped in the endless cycle
of losses upon losses
how many does it take to break
to break and shatter this soul
trapped within it's own casing of fragility
a casing of self design

Trapped to wander around again
to find and then lose
that which I seek
rise up just to fall again
and find myself at the bottom of the pit
blackness and blankness await now.

22nd August 1999